Change

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Change and transformation is a huge part of life. I have changed in negative and positive ways over the years. I’ve spent days, months, weeks and years dealing with depression and anxiety. I would think, “Why am I so sad when I have so much joy surrounding me?” That’s one of the most frustrating things about depression and anxiety disorders. You feel numb, and sick and broken when you “should” feel joy, blessings and happiness. I spent years being unhealthy mentally and physically; both of those things played off of each other.


Over the past year I have been able to drastically transform my life. I exercise almost daily, I eat food that nourishes my body, I meditate and try to get myself back to positive thinking when I am in a negative place. I rest and relax with out feeling guilty about it. I find joy in my family and in my life. I don’t have it all figured out, but I am in such a better place than before. I’m so grateful for modern medicine and all of the resources to help us through these situations. I’m so grateful for my patient, charitable husband.


I am not ashamed to admit that I have done mental health counseling and I take antidepressants. Talking about such a raw subject does make me nervous and afraid.


My appearance has changed a lot physically, but I don’t feel more beautiful than I used to be. I know I’ve always been beautiful and I’ve always been loved even though I complain about my physical features. I can now live a happier, healthier, more joyous life because of the changes I’ve made to improve my physical and mental health.


One thing I know is that I didn’t have my experiences because I wasn’t good enough, or because I was being punished or because I wasn’t trying hard enough at life even though that wasn’t always clear to me. I’ve learned so much from my trials. I can relate to others who are going through similar things. I have a greater love and sympathy for people who are struggling. I know my mental health journey isn’t over. I’m grateful for the hard things I had to endure because that’s how I get closer to being who God wants me to be.

I wanted to write this when I started seeing people post pictures of how aging has affected . All of the posts I have seen are full of beauty 10 years ago and today. We are all beautiful children of God on a Divine journey.

Below I have shared pictures of me from 10 years ago, 1 year ago, and today! I was thinking how I’ve changed so much in a year and if I would have done this a year ago I would have negative aging results... but that isn’t true! I was beautiful even when I wasn’t as healthy as I am today. I hope you know you’re beautiful as well no matter what condition your physical appearance is in.

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